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“Can I Pet Your Dog?” Why It’s Always Okay To Say No

Dr. Jen's Dog Blog

Well-Known Member
Earlier this year, I had the pleasure of meeting a lovely young border collie I’ll call “Sami.” She was a beautiful example of a well-bred herding dog – quick, keenly intelligent, and fit and graceful at just over 12 months old. Her owner brought her in for a consultation with me because she was having, as she put it, “some issues with Sami around strangers.” Things had seemed to be fine for the first few months after bringing Sami home...
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Vantage

Well-Known Member
Interesting Article. I think a lot of people misunderstand the word Socialize - looking at it from a human context (we go to a party, we socialize, how so.... by talking and shaking hands and hugging other people.), but dogs are not people. I find exposure to be a better word - let them be in the environment, see the people, but he does not necessarily have to go up to each person and greet them. Calm, Confident, Aloof.

In theory, we are supposed to be the dog's Pack Leader, then together we are a pack. Dogs and wolves are genetically 99% identical, and wolves will kill approaching animals that are not a part of their pack. So why do we force our animals to meet strangers with physical interaction (petting)? Sure we all want a Balanced dog who can be around other people, kids, environments, but we need to consider how we we expose our dogs to that. Even then not all dogs are meant for those conditions, and some dogs simply should not be forced into them.

It IS okay to say No. You can simply say "My dog is in training, sorry you can not pet him". Furthermore, the more a pet owner can educate themselves about dog behaviour, the better they can understand their dog and judge how to treat different scenarios.
 

DennasMom

Well-Known Member
I sometimes say, "no, she's feeling grumpy today", or some such...
It seems to work to anthropomorphize their behavior in this instance, so strangers can understand and not take it personally.

I did let a guy pet Denna the other day - she often enjoys meeting people - but he went a little too far and got in her face a bit (something only people she knows and loves get to do), and he got barked at with her "HEY, WHOA" bark... made him jump, and back up (mission accomplished)... so, after saying it was ok to pet her, I had to say, "Well... I guess she needs to know you better before you can get that close". He was startled, but was ok with that explanation. He seemed like a sensitive guy himself. At least I do know Denna's not one to bite first and ask questions later... she gives LOTS of warning before taking actions on that front (and has only ever felt a need to act against other canines, not humans).