I am a person that takes adoping a pet seriously and will not do so unless I know that it will be a lifelong adventure. Growing up my mother allowed me to have pets, but when something happened that caused a problem such as a health issue or unwanted pregnancy they would suddenly run away or we would have to give them up. I hated that and I hated her for making that happen, I understand that she did not have the resources to pay for the probs but that did not make the experience any less tramatic for me. I think that watching my mother act as though pets were disposable helped shape my intense opinions of responsible pet ownership today and I absolutely refuse to "half-way" adopt any animal, its all or nothing for me!
I had a similar childhood I think ... there were a few times my parents tried to do a dog for the family and it never ended well. The first was a puppy that was "too hard to train" and mysteriously vanished, never found out where. The second was a stray we adopted, she nipped me once and she got driven out into the country and abandoned, and the last was a Dalmation rehome who was "too big and playful" for the house and had to go back. Like you, I never really forgave my parents for treating an animal like that, especially the one they abandoned. I was very young and can't say for sure I didn't accidentally provoke her, and of course puppies will be puppies.
These days, though it cost us a lot in money and emotion, when we took on Ebony the BM we did so knowing we'd never let that happen. Her issue was widespread cancer, not wobblers, so she
was in pain (liver, lungs, trachea, everything compressed so she couldn't breathe or eat) and eventually we chose to euthanize her rather than watch her starve herself to death. There is always a choice, even if it's unpleasant, but until my dying day I will not forget that my parents chose to treat animals like they were disposable. Like you, it has certainly colored my outlook on dealing with pet tragedies.
Jlemon, whatever you choose to do is entirely up to you and I think it's fair to say that everyone has their breaking point. For some, it occurs much sooner and that provokes a lot of dismay in the rest of us, but it really does come down to what you feel you can or cannot handle. You have to do what's right by you and by Bear. I really do hope you find some way to resolve the situation
without euthanizing, and I agree a vet college or breed rescue may be able to help. When we were dealing with Ebony, the shelter we adopted her from offered to help us pay for any treatment the vet recommended, but by the time we got her diagnosis the x-rays had already shown we were too late. I can't remember where you got Bear (breeder, shelter, etc.) but it would definitely be worth a shot
~Marrow
