Its almost 1AM and I've just finished cleaning up the Thor's crime scene. I tried to do it the night he passed but piecing the trail he made just.........I couldn't.........
I'm starting to come around and accept that Thor is gone. I can even hold his collar now without sobbing. I still get teary eyed thinking about him or when I see his photos, but they are happy tears. I am also very thankful to have friends like you all, as well as my family surprising. To give me comfort and strength.
As to what happened, since the storm was coming we were allowed to leave early around 3pm. Before going home I decided to stop by a few places to get some supplies and pizza for dinner. Around 5pm I came home, as usual Stone was barking in his crate wanting to be let out, however I did not see Thor. Who would usually be standing in the doorway to greet me. I walked into the living area where he usually sleeps and saw foamy vomit all over the floor. I called to him he didn't move just looked at me. I walked closer and called his name again, he responded getting up but when I saw his abdomen my heart dropped. He comes to me and I take him outside to use the restroom, in the meantime I unload my truck and make room for him. Despite his probable pain he hopped in the cab and laid his head on my shoulder/arm. The emergency vet was 40 minutes it was starting to rain, and I was fighting rush hour traffic, so it was more like an hour.
I call the vet to let them know that we are on our way. About halfway to the vet I could seen him out of the corner of my eye gasping and trying to vomit....of course I break down, yet remain hopeful that he would make it. I told him he was a good boy and that we would be there soon. Still fighting the rain, sleet, and traffic we finally make it, or so I thought.......About two minutes before I arrive at the facility, I see Thor gagging and trying to vomit again this time more violently. Again I told him he was a good boy and we were almost there. Finally we arrived at the facility, I jump at the truck to open the cab for him to get out. But he was pretty much gone..........I called his name, wiggled his foot, but his body was just limp and unresponsive. I called him again asking and begging him to wake up..........I don't know how long I cried or screamed hysterically. But the senses came and I ran inside to let the people know he had arrived. It took about 7 people to get him out of the truck and carry him to the room. In my heart I knew the truth, and when the head vet came out again to confirm again I lost it..........After which she allowed me to see him. I hugged and sobbed on him for, I don't know how long. The vet was really nice and comforting through the whole thing, but bad news came when she told me the price of the cremation and keeping his ashes. Initially it was well within the price range I could afford, then she realized that she misquoted the price. It was well out of the range of what I could afford, of course I cried again. I said my final goodbye, paid the clerk, and walked to my truck. I had been texting friends and family throughout the whole incident. My dad who also loved Thor, offered to pay the remaining balance to allow me to keep Thor's cremation ashes. Last night driving back with an empty truck was one of the hardest things I had to endure. I don't know how many times I woke up and cried myself to sleep. At one point I was crying so much I vomited.
Morning came we had a two hour delay, I tried to ready myself for work but prepping the food............just tore my heart. Then I looked at the collar without a dog, the paw print without a body, the football without a mouth..........and...just..........lost it. My family concerned wanted me to travel down and grieve with them. It made me feel better but the hole is still there. I can say that I made it through "hard part" and come to my senses quicker now. The tears still roll but I accept the fact that while he is gone he is always with me one way or another. I couldn't even eat the pizza I brought for us to share. I took a bite and cried......threw the rest away........Yeah it hurts me that bad, because he LOVED pizza, we always split the whole pizza.
As for Stone he has not noticed anything, nor have I felt anything different with him. I still have yet to bond with Stone and with Thor gone it makes it so much harder. Now you all know. Please enjoy your dogs, you never realize how short and precious their time is
RIP Thor 10/17/2005- 1/17/2013 Forever in my heart My brother, my BFF, "I'm everything I am because you loved me" Thank you.......
