Update time.
Not good news I'm afraid.
We went to the vet and she confirmed that his legs are causing him a lot of pain. He's on anti inflammatory and glucosamine already so we got some pain relief for him.
She said that whilst that could explain the outbursts it didn't tie with zoning out or with peeing and having accidents in the house or getting stuck in corners and staring and walls.
Unfortunately these symptoms she put down to either brain tumurs or degeneration of his brain due to age.
She said that their were treatments and drugs that may help him but more than likely won't at his age.
She said that at this point we have to think of quality of life.
She had a crack in her voice as she said that and I burst in to tears. Let's be honest I knew what she would say before I went in but I was praying that she would say "no no it's an ingrown toenail an we can fix him".
This is sadly not the case.
Any further tests, treatments, chemo or whatever we all feel would be cruel. He's worked so hard to learn to be a good boy this past year that I do t think I can ask him to continue working hard, I don't think it's right to ask him to fight a battle he won't win.
The kindest thing, and something I'd have recommended to anyone else, would be to make the choice as soon as possible.
But I just couldn't do it.
Max has come home with me an I've said he can have another week.
I'll keep an eye on him and his episodes. If he has more good days than bad then I don't think I could bring my self to PTS. If he has more bad than good then I will forever hate myself but I don't think I could ask him to go on any more scared and confused.
I'm torn apart by this.
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